On October 10, Horus Oasis held a first degree initiation. The current initiation team had never done a first degree before, so there was much to learn and memorize, much to set up and test, much time to spend getting the whole thing ready. It pretty much ate my life for the three weeks leading up. Then there was clean-up to do in the few days following. At the end of the ordeal, I was ready for a break.
Wrong.
Cleanup was on the 13th. O.T.O. coffee on the 16th. Discussion group on the 20th. Gnostic Mass on the 24th. Etc, etc, etc. And so the schedule goes through the month of November.
During the lead-up to the first degree, I deferred personal projects and obligations to other people. They came home to roost this last week. So, if anything, I am busier and more stressed (and further behind) now than I was before.
I am not happy. This is not what I thought I was signing on for. To be blunt, the O.T.O. is currently an obstacle to my pursuit of my own Will. I have joked with a few people, "This Thelema thing sounds interesting. If I wasn't so busy with the O.T.O. I would check into it."
I am not happy.
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2 comments:
What exactly did you 'sign on' for and what exactly did you expect? Why not simply leave or not go to events?
Excellent questions. The quick response is that the "what" that I get from Horus Oasis is fine. It's the "how much" part that is vexing me.
Having said that, there is a longer response. I have mulled this over for a while. It is worth assembling my thoughts and posting that longer response in the next few weeks.
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