Sunday, November 22, 2009


There is a greater meaning in all of this.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Still not-drunk

The previous post continued....

Last night I engaged in two other actions that are perfectly normal for me when drunk, but very odd for being sober. Again, I had nothing to drink.

The first action was putting out a fire. One of my neighbors thought it a good idea to burn leaves in a barrel behind the apartment. He then thought it an even better idea to leave it unattended. So I knocked on the door to ask him to put it out. When I got no answer, I circled to the back, found a hose and put it out myself. For me, normal behavior would have been to fume and do nothing.

The second action was throwing out a CD. It was part of the CD of the Month club from KRCL some years ago. It came up in rotation to play and, halfway into the first track, I said, "This really sucks." I then pulled it out of the player and tossed it. I NEVER just throw out CDs.

The second action relates to a topic that has been gestating lately: the "Tyranny of Stuff". But that is another post.

(Oh yeah....and I have been losing weight. Again - I have no idea how or why, I just am. How odd.)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

All the fun of being drunk

I think something was dislodged in my psyche somewhere in the last few weeks. I have departed from my normal routine and I am acting drunk.

In normal headspace, I am what the comic refers to as "The Button Down Mind." I have lists and schedules and routines that dominate my life. I maintain a list of my lists (not really, but it sounds good). Several years ago, the lists came into being as tools that helped to focus me. But, over time, the lists took on lives of their own. They began so suffocate me. I found myself thrashing (in the computer hard drive meaning of the term). I spent more time being locked into the meaningless - shuffling things from list to list, or agonizing over the priorities - and I wasn't actually getting anything done.

(Damn, that sounds horrible. Was it really that bad? I don't know. I will ask myself again in a few months.)

About a week ago, I came home, looked at the state of my living space, and just got pissed off. Since then, I have been ignoring the lists. Instead, I have been applying my energies to the things that catch my eye (or my brain) and say, "Yes. We have been pissing you off. You hate us and you want us to change."

This is not a new behavior for me. But it is a behavior that I normally engage in only when slightly drunk - just drunk enough to lower my inhibitions a bit, but not drunk enough to achieve apathy. (Hmmmm..... "Achieve Apathy". Fits right in there with "Military Intelligence", "Religious Right", etc.)

It feels good.