Saturday, October 31, 2009

Just enough O.T.O. - A little more Thelema

So I posted a "Gripe and Moan" about how I was sinking too much energy into Horus Oasis, and how that was getting in the way of my Will.

The IAO131 asked a pointed question.

Dang. Don't we just hate it when people ask us to THINK.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Recharging the Batteries

Tomorrow is Gnostic Mass.

I am going to be deacon, and I am providing the Cakes of Light. So I had a baking session earlier. I am quite pleased with the results. I take my 'recipe' from "She Who Opens", this being the same woman as "She who bakes without written recipes". I will confess to one batch at the start of the year that was a bit crunchy. But excepting that single mistake, they have been flawless.

The Priest and Priestess for mass have never worked together before. In my mind, they live on opposite sides of many spectrums (age, personality, blah, blah). I am not alone in this perception. But everyone I have talked to is looking forward to this mass and is predicting some wonderful results. And I get to stand in the middle of it all and play conductor.

Now - this post seems the polar opposite of my last post. But it sheds light. The Gnostic Mass is what drew me into the O.T.O. When the fate of Horus Oasis was hanging in the balance (or so we thought), my reason for stepping up to help save it was that I wanted Gnostic Mass in my life.

Last month I was priest for mass. When we were done, the priestess told me the following: "I was going to call and cancel. Life has just been SO crazy and I just didn't have the time or energy. But I didn't cancel, and I am glad. I have NEVER regretted being a part of Mass." I feel the same way. Gnostic Mass recharges my batteries. It keeps me going for another month. I can bitch and moan about other aspects of playing with the O.T.O., but I swear an oath at this moment: I will never bitch and/or moan about Gnostic Mass.

PS - Mass of the Phoenix tonight. Ouch (I am such a wimp). This time I did it REALLY SLOW and stopped at each line and action to really think about it. Most enlightening.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Too much O.T.O. - Not enough Thelema

On October 10, Horus Oasis held a first degree initiation. The current initiation team had never done a first degree before, so there was much to learn and memorize, much to set up and test, much time to spend getting the whole thing ready. It pretty much ate my life for the three weeks leading up. Then there was clean-up to do in the few days following. At the end of the ordeal, I was ready for a break.


Cleanup was on the 13th. O.T.O. coffee on the 16th. Discussion group on the 20th. Gnostic Mass on the 24th. Etc, etc, etc. And so the schedule goes through the month of November.

During the lead-up to the first degree, I deferred personal projects and obligations to other people. They came home to roost this last week. So, if anything, I am busier and more stressed (and further behind) now than I was before.

I am not happy. This is not what I thought I was signing on for. To be blunt, the O.T.O. is currently an obstacle to my pursuit of my own Will. I have joked with a few people, "This Thelema thing sounds interesting. If I wasn't so busy with the O.T.O. I would check into it."

I am not happy.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

First Degree

Last night we wrapped up a bit of a project in Horus Oasis. But let me start closer to the beginning.

On October 10, Horus Oasis held a first degree initiation. This was a larger event than normal because it was a 'first time event' for all of the officers involved and for many (but not all) of the people involved in setting up and taking down the temple.

For those of us doing it for the first time, there was much work involved. We got to memorize scripts, work out choreography, and wrangle equipment. Serious work started in early August. Even up to the morning of the event we were still refining some of the details. But, now that we have done it once, future first degrees will go much smoother. Even as we bring in new officers and helpers, there will still be the experience of the cadre to draw from.

Last night we (me, Warren, Beverly, Holly) took down the last of the first degree temple, then restored the gnostic temple. For me, this closed the event. There is now room to breath.

We are looking forward to Minervals in November and February, then a Third Degree in April. We have done Minervals before, and the ritual requires less work. I am informed by the initiators that I will not be allowed to officer in the Third Degree. (We'll see how that works out.)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Playing Hookie

Yesterday, the alarm went off at 5:00 AM - just as it always does. And, just like I always do, I got out of bed and silenced it. Then, with a headache, cotton mouth, and churning stomach, I set the timer for another 20 minutes and fell back in bed.

After 20 minutes, my head still hurt, my tummy still turned, and my mouth was still dry. I fell back into bed and held an internal debate over whether to call in sick.

Two hours later......

The Fortune 500 Company sent out message last week reminding its multitude of minions not to come into work if displaying symptoms of the flu. I rationalized that this applied as well to Swine Flu as to Brown Bottle Flu. I called in sick. I then showered and dressed and asked myself a question: "What do I need to get done today?"

Three things came to mind. The first was to clean up a wax spill in the Temple of Wombat. (What is it with pagans and candles?) So I set to this task, then decided the entire temple needed to be cleaned out and re-assembled. I hauled out boxes and folders and totes and stacks. I cleaned and dusted and sorted and filed and cursed and banished and repaired and eliminated. I then put the Temple of Wombat back together. Finally, when the floor cover was back in place, I performed the lesser hexagram ritual to re-establish the working space.

So far so good.

The other two task I planned for the day went undone. Cleaning the temple took all day. But when it was all done, I felt good. I was motivated again.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


Take the time and effort to pull down "Magick Without Tears" from the internet. In it, the 'Man of Earth' degrees of the O.T.O. are described.

Yesterday, Horus Oasis pulled off a birth - a first degree initiation. I played a role as an officer. I also did much in the way of setup and take-down.

Life is good. At the same time {sarcasm alert}, this thing called "Thelema" sounds really interesting. Someday, when all of this O.T.O. shit is no longer monopolizing my time, I would like to check it out.