Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The wind that blows in the new day

Back when I was younger, and when I was more wise in my foolishness, I would sometimes stay up the entire night with a few friends. This usually happened in warm weather, and most of the time was spent outside.

One night - or rather one morning - at about 2:00 AM, a breeze blew in from nowhere. It disturbed the still of the night just enough to be noticed, moved a few leaves around on the lawn, then went away. It was a magickal moment. All three of us noticed this breeze. I turned to Rick and Kathleen and said, "It just blew in the new day." The gave me a blank stare. "That breeze - it just blew out the old day and blew in the new day."

They smiled and enjoyed my whimsy. But the few times since then that we stayed up through the night, about that same time of morning, a breeze always came up. It interrupted the still of the night, moved a few leaves around on the lawn, then went away. And, without speaking, we all agreed the new day had arrived.

Monday, March 14, 2011


I have a friend who is a top. We will call this friend X. X is 'managing' a person we will call Y. Every once in a great while, I will be present when X mentions the need to send a message to Y lifting and/or imposing punishment and/or reward.

I mention this because whenever I am privy to these moments, I get jealous. This sort of play doesn't appeal to me. I am not drawn to it. I would not enjoy it. But I still get jealous. Why would I react this way?

Then it occurred to me. Y is getting attention. It is simply the craving for attention, regardless of the nature of the attention.

This is so revealing. It explains so much about myself and about the humanity that surrounds me.

Friday, March 04, 2011

Cowboy Up!

Been neglecting the blog for a while.

Been dealing with depression.

Things gotta change.

Gonna deal with depression in a different way.

"Never give up. Never, ever, give up."

The Disposable Wombat is going to kick some ass, even if that ass happens to be his own.