Friday, November 28, 2008

Stating intents

[Written in St. George, UT....Thanksgiving with the family]

One week ago, at Gnostic Mass, I put out an intent to the Universe. But back-track to the last Mass, in September, when I did the same. The intent I put out was change. Specifically, to end the marriage with Kat and to get some movement from my mother. So I had a talk with Kat about divorce and it turned into a fight where she decried it as being the end of the world. A week later, she announced the SHE was filing for divorce. So far so good. (Strange, but good.) Then I mentioned to my mother that it may be time to leave the seven bedroom house and move to something smaller. She mumbled something about maybe moving to St George to use the bedroom and facilities Sid and Harold built in anticipation of this. Then two weeks later Harold was laid off from his job.

Batting 500.

As a consolation prize with my mother, I at least got her to take on some small cleaning projects. Better than nothing. (on the other hand, why should I have to fight so hard just to get her to clean off the blessed dining room table?)

So going into the mass this month, the voice in my head reminded me of getting results and suggested I do something like this again. The focus this time around? "Simple focus." I am being pulled a hundred directions in life. Much of it is external and there is little to be done about it. I am also suffering distraction at work and home, where I will suddenly realize I have been spinning wheels for many minutes (or few hours) and haven't done the things I need or want to do. While there are enough external distractions to blame this on, just as much of it is internal. This is what needs to be addressed.

So that is what I asked for. "Simple focus." So far...nothing. But then it turned into Thanksgiving week, and that presented a challenge. When formulating this intent, I was thinking of work, where I have more than enough to do. Even when I am doing real work, I constantly break focus to mess with other things, such as web cruising or computer games. I also think of the evenings, when I know there is work to be done - real work that makes a difference - but instead I get lost in housekeeping or menial tasks. Focus. Simple focus.

In news that could be described either as other or related, after two months of having firm goals on exercise and daily practice, then into a second month of not doing this, I am feeling the difference. I am setting goals for December. Once again, 20 days of exercise and daily practice. With the trip to Oakland planned for later in the month, I am sure I will make the daily practice goal, but the exercise may be a bit of a problem.

I am watching the news from India about the terror attacks, while a young lady from India is walking past me every few seconds to take care of the breakfast at the hotel. I wonder what she thinks of it all. Does she even think of it at all?

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