I am not happy this weekend. I have pressure building from one of my friendships. There is continued frustration with Horus Oasis, both with the lack of interest and from my failure to meet my own expectations. There are all of the things I want to do that are going undone. The waste of energy on small things that don't matter. Losing time, energy and Will to alcohol. The only thing that is going well is I am doing well with my daily practice. The first 20 days ends in a few more days. There will be a break of sorts while I travel to San Fransisco. Then Gnostic Mass with the Thelemistas and a return to home. It will be nice to get away - to spend some time ignoring my problems. But then I will return home and my problems will still be here.
[Much more. Redacted.]