Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Constipated Disco Duck

The Disposable Wombat is 'At Work'. Those two words 'At Work' can be amusing at now. Finally, after getting a full day behind schedule in pooching out the monthly Knowledge Base CD release, I chiseled time out of my schedule to fix/update the Tech Docs indexes on the customer support web site. (You, oh humble reader, don't get to look at this web site - there is a login. Oh darn.)

No workie. Server is busy bouncing. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. (You get the picture.)

The first index to update was for a product called Discovery - Disco for short. Disco Duck. Constipated Disco Duck (with apologies to Jeff Beck but not to John Travolta).

It gets better. Try to sneak out of the building for walkies around the pond. The WebMaster corners me and bores me to tears with stories about what he's doing to track down and fix it. I finally escape and walk. This is where the ducks come it. The pond has ducks. It also has geese, and gulls, and some bottom feeding fish that are growing large enough to entertain thoughts of world domination.

I'm back at the desk. The web site is working again. But the demons who run the universe choose to trade my problems into the future. Kat calls. She's driving her brother to the airport and the car throws a belt. She calls me from the parking lot of the local Checker Auto, belt in hand, wanting to know how to replace it. Like I remember? Like she can't look at it and finger it out? Like her brother, who knows everything (just ask him, he'll tell you), can't figure it out?

Skip to the end of the flurry of calls. Kat's sister is driving up to rescue them. I will get home from work at the usual time, change, grab tools, usher Kat into the MalkuthMobile (my car - named for my Vanity Plate), and fix it for them. But the part I loved was when Kat asks what we should do. She starts coming up with some complex plan, with people meeting people meeting people so we can do this. Rrrrrrr. So I tell her "Go home. Wombat meet you there. Grunt. Get tools. Drive to car. Fix. Grunt. Scratch. Drive home. Don't let your family talk you into some more complex bullshit plan that will break."



(you have to know how to speak to these people on a level they can relate to)

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