Explanation in advance to prepare you for an awful detail to come.... Kat and I used to fry up Spam and eat it with a bit of honey. The combination of nitrates and sugars could not be resisted.
Take one small potato. Peel. Slice lengthwise into thin slabs. Place in frying pan, lube with a bit of olive oil, low heat.
Cut a few slabs of spam to match the potato slices. When the potato is about half done, add the spam.
On one slice of bread, apply a thin layer of mayo.
On the other slice, something sweet. I was out of honey. But I had grape jelly. YOU WERE WARNED.
When spam and potato are done, build a sandwich and eat on the front porch. In plain sight. In front of the neighbors. (You are, after all, a middle aged bachelor and you have no shame.)
Note to self: Toast the bread next time. The darned thing was a bit limp and hard to handle.