Sunday, April 19, 2009

Bachelor Chow

How to make Bachelor Chow.

Open a package of pinto beans that has been sitting in the south cabinet for....years. Dump into a large stew pot (12 oz??? 16 oz???).
Add much water, turn heat on low, walk away from it.
Have a friend in the O.T.O. call you about a plumbing emergency.
Turn off heat on your way out the door.
Drive north 50 miles, fix the damned toilet, drive back home.
Drain water, refill, turn on heat.
Get drunk.
Turn off heat and leave to soak overnight.
Sleep for 10 hours.
Drain water.
Add whatever was left in that bag of brown sugar that has been sitting in the south cabinet for.....years. About a cup.
Add two 12 oz cans of tomato sauce that have been sitting in the basement for...years.
Add contents of three Papa John's Pizza red pepper packets.
Prepare rice (2 cups rice that ahve been sitting in the basement for.....decades, 4 cups water) with rice cooker - the bachelor's best friend.
Dump rice into stew pot with beans.
Stir well.
Spoon into those damned 2 cup Glad containers that the ex-wife gets for free because they have lunch meat in them.
Freeze or refrigerate.
Take to work.
Microwave and eat in front of co-workers, causing them to pity (married) or envy (not married and can't cook) you.

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